Before I start I feel this post needs a disclaimer, in what capacity I"m not sure, but a disclaimer non the less. Perhaps something along the lines of this does not apply to all people who see themselves as feminists. There is no intention to offend etc etc. If you want to comment thats fine but all I ask is that you be nice!
Feminisin: the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.
I believe myself to be feminist, I am absolutely 100% for equality amongst the sexes. I believe that men and women should be given equal opportunity, equal pay, equal respect. I believe in telling my young girls that if they want to grow up and have careers in male dominated industries then thats fine, go for gold my girls! If my son wants to work in a female dominated industry -GREAT! I value the fight of the ladies before me that have given me the right to vote, the right to be heard and the right to believe and have confidence in myself as a women.
What I don't get is the extremes in which some 'feminist' groups seem to be directing themselves. It seems that feminism, for some, is blurring into a society and tribe of man haters.
I am a (now former) member of a 'Feminist Mothers' group on Facebook and all to often I read posts and
comments that, in my opinion, are not the true essence of feminism. Since when did equal female rights turn into hating men? One poster called a car salesman "sexist and sleezy" just because he asked if there was a husband to consult with before buying the car. Is that really a 'sexist, sleazy' or harmful comment? Many of the replies where just as bad, comments like "I feel sick and angry on your behalf", "sexist fucker! I'd be writing a letter of complaint" "He was probably just trying to find out if you were single" and "car sales men are all sexist, sleazy and condescending". Hold the bus people but do you think that MAYBE that was actually just a genuine question? and it didn't come from a place of sexism, sleaze or a desire to find out her marital status
There are many many threads putting down men and quite frankly being down right nasty just because they are men and these women are making the assumption that the men think they are better than women! Now it might just be me but doesn't this seem to be the pot calling the kettle black in it's finest form... What on earth gives women the right to openly slay men for seemingly normal and polite behaviour yet they get up in arms if a man so much as glances their way?
Now these people making these comments might be the minority and I know they are not the view of all but it still concerns me and this is why....
I am raising a boy, and one day he will grow up to be a man. Now if I have done my job right he will be courteous, kind, compassionate, gentle and polite. I worry that he might one day be on the receiving end of this so called 'feminist' behaviour and man hating when he's done nothing to provoke it!
I cringe to think that my son might one day make the comment 'ladies first' and get the same barrage of hate that the man in the above post got! It's like for some of the women in this group 'men are the enemy' there to be put down, commented on and exposed simply because they are men. It seems to me that what they are doing to men is the exact thing they are fighting against for women. Yes there are asshole men out there but there are also asshole women.
Heres where I stand people - Be Kind! Always be kind, it doesn't matter who it is, what sex they are or what toys they like to play with. We are living in a world where things like poverty, starvation, child abuse, war and crime are real
Why not focus our time, energy and anger into trying to eradicate or minimise things like drug use, suicide, family violence, childhood obesity etc etc the list goes on. We need to be compassionate, caring, understanding, patient, respectful and non-judgemental, if we can foster more of that then there will be no need to fuel such a divide amongst the sexes!
Feminism is not hate, it's not about creating divide and it's not about not needing men in our lives. Jane Galvin Lewis summed it up perfectly when she said "You don't have to be anti-men to be pro-women" and I couldn't agree more.
I think to truely change the worlds view in regards to feminism and equal rights we need to focus less on what the adults of today are doing and saying and more on the children in this world. Teach our children about equal rights for all and as they grow the world will change.
I will leave you with a quote by Gloria Steinem - "A feminist is anyone who recognises the equality and full humanity of women and men."
Take care & Best wishes
Zalie xxxxxx
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